This is one thing that I struggled with immensely during my own recovery. Self worth - how do we get it and how do we improve on it? Self esteem and self worth are essentially the same thing. Self worth comes down to three spheres.
1. External perception
2. Internal perception
3. Innate value
Self worth is something most of us struggle with. We would have to be a narcissist not to struggle with it. During depression our self worth is shot. So how do we claim it? We can start by identifying the three spheres. Then acknowledging and owning certain truths based on your own innate value.
1. Our external perception is what we think society thinks of us. Think... comparing yourself to that colleague at work or how society tells us we should behave. Or, you will only be somebody if you can achieve more and more.
2. The second one is internal perception; what we think of ourselves. These are our thought processes. Thoughts might include; I’m putting on weight. I shouldn't have said that to Karen. I've got to be good kind person because that’s how my parents raised me.
3. The third sphere and the most important is innate value. This value part of the fibre of our make up. The rules and truths we write here should be set in stone. The first two spheres are more surface level but it is here that we define our self worth. For example; I have inherent value as a person, not by something that can be measured i.e. achievements, comparisons, net worth, who you know/social circle, what you do for a living (positivepsychology.com)
The realm of innate value needs fundamental truths about ourselves. Truths could look like this:
· All of us are created equal; therefore I am of great importance.
· My value is not based on my social status
· Every person is an expert in something
· I am a good, kind person and my value should be based on this
· My capacity to love is of great value to this world
· I am perfectly imperfect
· I am capable of loving myself
Once you work on fundamental truths for your innate value, your internal and external perception can change accordingly. I used to write mine down and put them on my bedroom wall to remind me. The first two spheres are based on our thoughts. If we go a little deeper and re-write our truths, our thoughts can begin to change.
Feelings aren’t necessarily based on fact. Just so happens, many times they are far from the truth, yet they are so strong that our perceptions can create their own reality.
Whether you feel it or not, you are of great worth to this world.
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