My tool kit wouldn’t be complete without assertiveness. This played an essential part in my recovery and I believe it to be one of the most underrated skills. Any one can benefit from learning some basics in assertiveness. A good psychologist got me onto this. There have been many times when I’ve had multiple parties (with best intentions) wanting to make decisions about my treatment on my behalf. Heavy medication has made it harder to know what path to take. This is where assertiveness helped me.
What is assertiveness?
In a nutshell, assertiveness is about respecting your own rights and respecting the rights of others to communicate and reach an outcome that all parties are satisfied with. Assertiveness often gets confused with aggression. However, the behaviour of aggression is very different.
Passive: Violates own rights. Others needs given priority
Assertive: Respects both own needs and needs of others.
Aggressive: Violates rights of others. Own needs have priority.
Our assertive rights:
• You have the right to judge your own behaviour, thoughts, and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself.
• You have the right to say “no”.
• You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behaviour.
• You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems.
• You have the right to change your mind.
• You have the right to disagree with someone else’s opinion.
• You have the right to make mistakes – and be responsible for them.
• You have the right to say ‘I don’t know’.
• You have the right to be illogical in making decisions.
• You have the right to say, ‘I don’t understand’.
• You have the right to say ‘I don’t care’.
For some great resources on assertiveness, check out the Centre for Clinical Interventions. https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/…/Looking-Af…/Assertiveness
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