I remember being in a Psych Hospital in Ryde, Sydney during my second episode. There was absolutely nothing to do in this hospital but watch TV and smoke ciggies in the courtyard. There was an older bloke named Bobbie who sat in the courtyard all day smoking white ox or what I call ‘prison tobacco’. One day I joined him and started smoking white ox myself. We would watch the crusader doves that visited. Bobby would feed them. The courtyard was all concrete, no garden or greenery. Very bleak. One ‘eventful’ day I witnessed a much smaller dove attack a large crow as it tried to steal the doves food. It was a David and Goliath moment amongst birds.
The crusader doves that visited were a source of hope for me in one of the worst psych wards (for lack of facilities). Bobby became a source of wisdom as many cigarettes were toked watching the pecking order. My experience has taught me that there could be three steps to de-construct when discussing the theme of hope. Obviously it’s going to mean different things to different people. However, key points that come to mind are:
· Defining hope
· Providing hope
· Implementing hope
1. DEFINING HOPE
What is your definition of hope or what are the definitions of hope in your life?
These can be anything in one’s life that spurs a sense of hope.
A few of mine include:
· Doves that come to visit my backyard, (then try and steal my dogs food).
· Hanging out with my three nephews
· Watching clients laugh
2. PROVIDING HOPE
The sense of hope in our lives is enhanced if we can share it with others. Those days watching doves at Ryde would have been drearier if Bobby wasn’t in it with me.
Examples of providing hope include:
· Providing someone with simple encouragement. Eg. “I like your coat,” “nice shoes”, “I enjoyed your presentation at todays meeting”. It’s amazing the effect simple encouragement can have on people.
· Gary Chapman who wrote the Five Love Languages defined these love languages as: Acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, and physical touch. These serve as a great basis for providing hope in others lives.
· Going beyond - Sometimes going beyond requires us to do things for others that we wouldn’t normally do. It could mean putting yourself through mild discomfort for a good outcome. Sometimes a good outcome doesn’t even come, but at least you gave it a shot. An example of going beyond could be donating money or belongings to those less fortunate. Or even as simple as offering to do the dishes at your parents house after your mum’s cooked a roast.
· In a mental health setting, some carers have referred to ‘carrying the flame’ for their loved ones. This metaphor of hope is true to all mental health professionals and anyone who feels they have a role to play in another’s mental wellbeing.
Providing hope is about community and how we can foster a healthier community by our actions.
3. IMPLEMENTING HOPE
This is about how we intentionally carry out hope in our everyday life. From my experience, setting goals has helped me believe in hope. Achieving those goals makes hope a reality. During times of depression, getting out of bed was the hardest thing. I couldn’t even think about having a shower. Focussing on the bed part was enough. Goals are constructs that should be picked apart, and if they seem insurmountable, it helps to identify the steps within the goal. Shrink the steps if you need to.
Implementing hope starts with one foot in front of the next. Many times recovery for me was two steps forward, one step back. If it weren’t for others carrying the flame when I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be here today. Family, friends and mental health professionals taught me how to hope, aspire, and how to give myself a break when I was coming down hard on myself. Hope, in its many forms was the force I needed.
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